LIVING A LIFE-LIMITING ILLNESS

LIVING WITH A LIFE-LIMITING ILLNESS

Living with a life-limiting illness or terminal diagnosis takes one down a completely different road of finalizing the last segment down this journey we call life.   When someone is confronted with the knowledge that their own death is imminent, this knowledge changes the entire course and trajectory completely.  Uncertainly has flipped to certainty and while not sure of the exact date, there is a greater awareness of being ever closer to life’s end.  No choices are given on the “who” “what” “where” or “why” with new limits being placed on the “when.”  Still, there are a multitude of choices and decisions to make in terms of “how” you want to finish your life.  

Truth of the matter is:  death is a fact of life.  And while no one is ever really ready to die, you have now been empowered because you now know you have a shorter period of time left in this life.  And because you don’t get the time you wanted, you still may have the time you need to finish your life in a way that can bring you a deeper sense of peace.  Most people don’t take this opportunity, and deny what is happening because they don’t want to deal with it, spending precious time denying the inevitable outcome.  If you’re reading this…deal with it.

There is so much to do to prepare for the end.  And it’s not all about getting your finances in order, getting wills and trusts prepared, even though those are important issues to attend to.  What is truly important is to put together a plan to address any specific medical wishes, and make emotional and spiritual issues and support you will need a priority to ensure you have what you need to the very end.

Be assured that during this precious period of time, you will grieve deeply.  Opening your heart instead of closing it changes how people will respond.   This opening will also be an opportunity for friends and family to express to you how they feel about you.  Realize how important it is for both you and your loved ones to say what is deep inside your hearts.  Share your thoughts and feelings and finish your life in a way that brings your family and friends comfort and you…heartfelt peace.  If you parent, you spent your entire life teaching children about life...now it’s time to teach children about death too.  Sharing your lifetime of insights and wisdom is so incredibly holy and is truly your legacy that will remain an invaluable gift to your family's future.  

On that list of “how” you want your life to end, there are vital issues to address:

If you have unresolved conflicts…bring peace to them.  
If you regret something…unregret it
If you need to forgive someone…forgive them.
If you need to say something to loved ones…say it.  
If you failed to do something…do it. 
You will grieve for what could have been…grieve it.

Write letters or make videos to share with your family and future generations about your life and how much you love them.  Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to finish your life well because you want to deny the outcome.  Take control of the time you have left to do what really needs to be done. And if you’re too physically weak or don’t have the energy, ask a close family member or friend for help.  There is nothing more sacred than helping someone you care deeply about finish their life in a way that will bring peace.

You have the power, the inner strength and the grace to finish your life’s race.  As you get closer to the finish line, it your everlasting and enduring love that will forever carry on.

            "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."Timothy 4:7

For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/
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