EVERYDAY IS A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE

EVERY DAY IS A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE

It doesn’t matter how long your loved one has been gone, every day presents a variety of unique challenges trying to live without them.  Tying up all the loose ends of their life can be overwhelming and endless.  Oftentimes, it feels like solving a massive mystery trying to figure out all the various aspects of their life, i.e., personal, financial, employment, estate, computer, probate, etc., let alone trying to keep up communication with all of their family and friends.  Add to that, getting to all the little things they did, whether trying to find, repair or fix something that seemed so easy for them to accomplish, replacing something special into that space they once held dear, getting everyday chores or tasks accomplished, or finding a special way to honor or give away all that was precious to them.  The list goes on....

And if they died suddenly without any last minute advice or instructions, it can be even more overwhelming.  More sad thoughts pervade about how you didn’t get to tell them how you felt or say goodbye or finish on a good note.  What you didn’t know about them can sometimes be devastating and sometimes the surprise of finding out something unique or new about them can be so very comforting.   Dealing with both sides of their spectrum feels more overwhelming than trying to figure out all the details about your own life.  Putting their unfinished life’s business to rest can be staggering, and frankly, at times, a pain in the heart.  But it can also be a healing balm bringing comfort to the chronic aching pain inside your heart because you are doing something for them.  You are their shadow now trying to solve an incomprehensible puzzle in the midst of your own severe sadness.

Where do you begin to deal with the many challenges you face because they are gone?  Start slowly.  And take each step one step at a time one day at a time.  Take a deep breath as you begin each challenge.  Say a prayer for them and with them.  Ask for their help and get their heavenly advice.  Don't forget to ask God for the strength and wisdom to get through each challenge.  Slowly but surely you will get through what you need to do.  You may not feel like doing it, but you know it needs to be done.  You can do it.  You will do it.  Just keep moving forward.  Do it and get through it so you can get to your new normal, whatever that works out to be.  In the end, while you didn’t have a choice about what happened to them, you do have a choice about what happens on behalf of them.  Be comforted knowing that in a small corner of that large heart of yours, they trusted you enough to help them when they needed you to complete what they couldn’t and doing so with dignity, respect and your abiding love for them.  They remain forever grateful.

“Don’t take on troubles ahead of time because tomorrow will have its own problems.  Just do faithfully what you should be doing today and live one day at a time.”  Matthew 6:34 (Clear Word Version)

For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/
Or check out my book:

https://www.amazon.com/Skirting-Thin-Veil-Meaningful-Life-Changing

Photo by Chaplain Mary

Dedicated to Don Jakeway

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