LOSING A LOVER
Losing a lover, whether it be a spouse or partner adds another dimension of loss in the grief journey. The physical intimacy that was shared that connected not just bodies, but also part of your deeper self has been disconnected. The interior banter and touching between only the two of you has been replaced by an empty bed and even more devastating…empty arms. What you wouldn't give for another moment to hold hands, hug, or be embraced by their very presence. A part of you that was once felt complete has been replaced with a loneliness that is beyond feeling abandoned.
There are no words to capture this side of grief and is one of the hardest parts of the grief process to overcome. No one outside of the two of you can ever really know or understand what it really feels like because that kind of intimacy was only known between the two of you. Nor can anyone ever really replace that kind of unique passion experienced between the two of you. That familiarity between the two of you is one and only. The intimate touching between two people is what makes love feel so alive because when physical intimacy is genuine, it becomes a seal that bonds a couple's mutual love.
Even after death, the depth of feelings between lovers remains so incredible strong because of that unbreakable bond of a shared, intimate, burning love. Scripture describes the strength of that bond so profoundly:
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.”– Song of Solomon 8:6-7a
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Photo by Kiki Whitman
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