TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT DEATH

TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT DEATH

Whenever we have to talk to children about death, our natural instincts are to shelter them from hurting.  When it comes to this life lesson, we become fiercely protective of them and don’t want them to experience pain.  The truth of the matter is that as parents or guardians, we teach our children about life, but just as importantly, we need to teach our children about death.  We all know that in the natural world, like all living things, humans have a limited life span and that death is inevitable.  Preparing our young people to understand death is vital to their growing up process.  The most important approach to this life’s lesson is for you to be honest with them and speak from your heart.  You will find that by being honest, children can face the death of their loved ones more realistically.  Reflect on your own experience of understanding death and how you learned about death.  That will help you better understand how important honesty is in learning about this life lesson.   

Also, ask them if they want to attend the funeral instead of making a protective choice for them.  You’d be surprised how curious they are; and, innately, they already know something, or should I say someone, in their life has changed.  The more you avoid the subject, the harder you make it for them to understand what is happening around them.  Make sure you check in with them from time to time during and after the experience and give them the freedom to think and process their thoughts and feelings on an ongoing basis.  

Sharing the spiritual aspects of death are also important to help children understand that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies and that our spirits live even though our bodies die.  Use age appropriate word choices and allow children the space to ask questions and talk about death.  Don’t hesitate to share bible stories about people in the Scriptures who had loved ones die and how they found comfort in God’s promises of heaven and eternal life.  Scriptures reveal time and again that God feels sorrow and is closer than ever to the brokenhearted and those who are grieving.  Acknowledge family members who have died as examples of how your thoughts, prayers and beliefs helped you through it.  

Our children grieve too.  They grieve very deeply.  Their inner “knowing” senses someone is missing from their lives and while it seems they can more readily adjust to that person being “gone,” they are not forgotten in their interior memory.  They remember the feelings they experienced with their loved one, moreso than actual concrete memories of them.  Still, in their aging process, they will come to understand death is a part of life, no matter the cause or circumstance.  Your honesty will better equip them to be able to come to terms with death and more importantly, come to peace with it. 

“All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” Isaiah 54:13

For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/
Or check out my book:

https://www.amazon.com/Skirting-Thin-Veil-Meaningful-Life-Changing

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