UNFINISHED AND UNRESOLVED BUSINESS

UNFINISHED AND UNRESOLVED BUSINESS

When someone who has hurt us deeply dies, there lies unfinished business.  Either side can no longer clean up or resolve or fix those issues or hurts from the past now that they aren’t here in the present.  Those unresolved issues can and will ignite feelings of pain, insecurity, failure, and/or downright misery.  Those negative feelings can get us stuck in the past as we find ourselves unable to figure out how to move past the misery.  There is something within us that wants to confront those hurts because they are too heavy a load to carry.  We want to have the person who hurt us come back and undo what we’re stuck living with.  We desire an uninterrupted life with happy endings, but in reality, we are stuck living inside an unhappy ending.  Thus, the work begins of confronting those feelings all by ourselves in order to bring peace to all the unfinished issues without them.  

How can we ever move forward with the pain lingering inside of us?  How can we find peace?  The only way to peace is to go deeper.  You have to take a hard look at the unresolved issue(s), the circumstances by which they arose, work through what did or didn’t happen and face them head on in order to come to terms with them.  Processing those issues with a good counselor can break down the multitude of feelings surrounding the pain and hurt.  

Still, the reality is there isn’t any way to bring final resolve with the person who hurt you in person - but there is a way to heal yourself without them.  When you heal, you do it for you.  They can’t make it better, but you can.   How do you do that?  Let it go.  They let you go when they took their last breath.  They took the pain they caused you with them.  So let them be stuck with it – as for you…you don’t have to be stuck with it.  How?  Let it go.  How?  With God’s help, let it go.  And...by loving yourself.   So if you’ve been hurt by someone you love, love yourself.  If you’ve been hurt by someone you never loved, you still need to love yourself.  Let Go and Let God.

“Love…does not keep account of a wrong suffered…”. 1Cor13:5b

For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/
Or check out my book:

https://www.amazon.com/Skirting-Thin-Veil-Meaningful-Life-Changing

Photo by Chaplain Mary


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