TRAPPED INSIDE GRIEF

TRAPPED INSIDE GRIEF.  Just how long does grief last?  This question is difficult to answer because there is no exact time limit to grieving.  Grief is a journey of movement and therefore there isn’t a date to finish grief because every relationship and circumstances are different and so healing for each person is going to be different too.  That being said…”you never get over the death of a loved one, you get through it” is an incredible truth.   Grief experts advise that the grief period normally lasts two to four years.  You “know” when you are through the hardest part of the grief journey when you have readjusted and settled into your life without your loved one, and, you feel an encompassing peace, not just for your loved one, but for you too.  Even after you feel you are through the worst of the grief journey, there will always be occasions when you earnestly miss your loved one even though this “missing” can occur years down the road.  That’s okay.  

What isn’t okay is getting “stuck” in grief.  For some, the memories are so vivid and real, it seems like the death of their loved one occurred just a few weeks ago; yet it was more than a few years ago and they talk about their grief as though it has just started.  If you feel like you are going through the stages of grief over and over again like sorrow/sadness, denial, bargaining, anger, depression, but can’t get to acceptance, it’s time to get some professional help (counselors, therapists, chaplains, spiritual directors, ministers, rabbis, funeral directors, etc.) and have someone help you process where you feel stuck and work toward getting out of that place inside grief you can’t seem to maneuver yourself through.  Other indications that you may be “stuck” is if your friends and family no longer want to talk with you about your loved one or you realize you just aren’t moving forward and you hurt all the time.  You're stuck if you just can't get past the reality your loved one is gone even though you "know" you need to move on.  In reality, you have to be diligent about not getting trapped inside your grief.  

Our lives are a series of movement forward.  God never intended us to stay still.  We were created by God “to live, to move, and have our being” until we die.  Grief is also a moving forward journey by letting go of our loved one in this life as our loved one has already moved forward into the next life, regardless of the circumstances of how the death occurred.  Your loved one would probably not be happy that you aren’t moving forward with your life and if they were able to, they would give you a good talking to about moving forward and living your life the way you should be living it without them.    

“I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord; they are plans for peace, not to harm you to give you a future filled with hope.”   Jeremiah 29:11

For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/
Or check out my book:

https://www.amazon.com/Skirting-Thin-Veil-Meaningful-Life-Changing

Photo by Chaplain Mary   



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