Moments with Mary

HATE.   We should all hate the word hate.  Hate is an extreme and real feeling people can have for another.  Hate is holding a deep hostility with such an intensity, especially when someone has been wronged or deeply hurt by another.  Hate is derived from fear, anger or sense of injury.  In the case of grief, issues of hate can arise when someone we love has been injured or died because they were wronged by another, regardless of whether the act was intentional or accidental.  The problem with hate is that it can become all-consuming and fill our minds with such negativity and darkness.  Hate can and will stunt our emotional maturity.   When someone has been wronged by another resulting in the death of a loved one, it would be almost impossible not to experience the feelings of hatred toward the person who committed the act.   But working through the multitude of feelings that hatred can spring within, there should be more dist...

BELONGING/S Belonging has an incredibly dual and introspective meaning.  When we love someone and they love us, we become part of them and therefore we belong to them and in turn, they belong to us.  Adding an “s” to this word, making it a plural, changes the word to Belongings, which are the personal effects of someone.  When someone we love dies, these two words belonging and belongings undergo significant change.  Belongings – all the things that were a physical part of our loved ones -- their clothes, jewelry, accessories, files and records, and everything else they own are disbursed to various family members or to local charities or other places that can redistribute their meaning to someone new.  So often, it isn’t easy letting go of parts and pieces of our loved one that were important to them, but putting them to good use can also bring a new sense of “belongings” to someone else. However, the holy longing we have for our loved one - while ever present, ...

GREED AND GRIEF No doubt after the death of a loved one, money issues can arise that can cause disparity and disruption inside a family relationship.  Suddenly, folks who were scarce come out to claim their share of the family money pie.  The death of a loved one doesn’t always bring out the best in people as it can bring out emotions of entitlement, especially when larger sums of money are on the line.  Trying to deal with these difficult issues can harvest a variety of negative emotions and really can make it extremely messy inside the family system.  It’s always hard to put a price or value to one’s life after death, let alone trying to satisfy the financial quest of those who become filled with greed.   Greed is an emotion that can compromise one’s values – not value in terms of money, but the values we hold in our own self-worth.  Greed always begs one to ask themselves this question:  Is my greed really worth It? If you are dealing with fami...