Moments with Mary

WHEN GRIEF DEPLETES YOU Grief can deplete the entire you.  The body feels like jelly…too tired to move…and too exhausted to even try.  The mind feels dull taking undo energy to revive any thought that seems stuck and won’t come to the surface.  The heart is so hurt, so swollen with tears, yet; too empty and too dry to feel anything.  Grief gets even more complicated because of the mixture of emotions that occur simultaneously within:  feeling lonely, abandoned, hurt, angry, lost, devastated, torn, overwhelmed….every feeling imaginable.   The multitude of feelings occurring simultaneously – not one by one – but one over one over another one can exceed one’s ability to cope.  Trying to unpack each feeling only makes one feel like standing in a corner and screaming because you just don’t know which feeling to start with nor which feeling you should feel first. When grief depletes you…the worst thing you can do is feel sorry for yourself.  If you...

TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT DEATH Whenever we have to talk to children about death, our natural instincts are to shelter them from hurting.  When it comes to this life lesson, we become fiercely protective of them and don’t want them to experience pain.  The truth of the matter is that as parents or guardians, we teach our children about life, but just as importantly, we need to teach our children about death.  We all know that in the natural world, like all living things, humans have a limited life span and that death is inevitable.  Preparing our young people to understand death is vital to their growing up process.  The most important approach to this life’s lesson is for you to be honest with them and speak from your heart.  You will find that by being honest, children can face the death of their loved ones more realistically.  Reflect on your own experience of understanding death and how you learned about death.  That will help you better und...

OTHER RITUALS/SUGGESTIONS THAT CAN HELP IN THE GRIEF JOURNEY: Over the years, I’ve compiled a list of suggestions from the internet and various books or websites that offer a variety of ways to heal the body, mind, soul and spirit during the grief journey.  I hope you take some of them to heart during your healing journey.  God be with you in the days ahead…. • Light a candle on a special day of remembrance (birthday, anniversaries, holidays, etc) or special times each day.  You can decorate candle with loved ones favorite things to honor them • Visiting the grave or special place of remembrance (where you got engaged, etc) • Keep a journal (explore putting a voice or tangible place for your feelings • Carry something special of theirs on you (ring, bracelet, cloth) either to wear or place in your pocket or purse • Ask family and friends to gather mementos and letters and photos and place in a special memory book.   • At Family gatherings, set a plac...

Over the years, I’ve compiled a list of suggestions from the internet and various books or websites that offer a variety of ways to heal the body, mind, soul and spirit during the grief journey.  Following are suggestions to comfort your spirit and hope you take some of them to heart during your healing journey.  God be with you in the days ahead…. SUGGESTIONS TO COMFORT THE  SOUL AND SPIRIT: 1) Open your mind to spiritual meditation and awareness by reading books about spiritual deepening and those that will help you embrace God, the Universe and philosophical thought.  This will expand your mental capabilities and not to focus on loss but in bringing a new kind of love into your heart. 2) Pray or meditate – in your own way.  Spend time each day in silence.  This is a comforting way to start the day.  If you can’t pray, know that your grief is a living (lived) prayer.     3) Light candles to honor the person you lost.   ...