Moments with Mary

LOSS OF A PARENT/GRANDPARENT Losing a parent or a grandparent carries with it life’s deepest losses.  It feels like your entire history from conception through birth and throughout your lifetime has gone with them.  They lived through every moment of your lives with you.  They nurtured you, taught you, celebrated you, cried with you, cared for you, corrected you, counseled you, accepted you, and most especially loved you.  They gave you a name, an identity in this life.  There is a reason behind the name you were called and whether or not you like your name, your name had meaning to them.  They knew you like no other person in your lifetime.  And now they are gone.   We are alive and we are here on this planet earth because of them.   No matter our age, we will feel orphaned after their death because no matter how close the relationship, we are forever connected to them.  Their DNA is in us, flowing through us, growing our char...

HELPING OTHERS THROUGH LOSS OF LIFESTYLE Many people are living through their own personal grief right this very moment because they are dealing with a loss of their lifestyle due to an illness or injury or death of a loved one that has turned their world upside down and inside out.  For those dealing with illness or injury, precious time has been lost going to medical appointments, treatments, running tests, waiting for results or just being in the state of wait not knowing if things will change.  For those dealing with death, lifestyle has completely changed.  On top of trying to deal with their situation, the loss and grief drains and depletes them from having the energy to stay focused or feel good.  Overwhelming feelings of grief and loss pervades living today because life has morphed from planning next events and gatherings with family and friends into being swallowed up by the depths of uncertainty, being dependent on others, waiting, worry, depression, anxiet...

CAREGIVER’S GRIEF: On top of losing your loved one that you so lovingly took care of during their illness or aging, you experience another loss...you just lost your job.  While you may also feel a sense of relief that they are no longer suffering, you finally have the time to realize how much time, energy and responsibility went with caregiving for them.  You stepped up to the plate and did whatever was needed to be done to take care of your loved one.  A caregiver’s responsibilities are endless: preparing meals, picking up prescriptions, going to medical appointments, providing encouragement, updating family and friends, bathing, wound care...the list goes on.  But after your loved one is gone, you come to realize this enormous blank space of time that was filled with all the caregiving needs you undertook to take care of them.  That empty space of time you blocked out in your life to see to their physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs speaks t...

LOSING A LOVER Losing a lover, whether it be a spouse or partner adds another dimension of loss in the grief journey.  The physical intimacy that was shared that connected not just bodies, but also part of your deeper self has been disconnected.  The interior banter and touching between only the two of you has been replaced by an empty bed and even more devastating…empty arms.  What you wouldn't give for another moment to hold hands, hug, or be embraced by their very presence.  A part of you that was once felt complete has been replaced with a loneliness that is beyond feeling abandoned.   There are no words to capture this side of grief and is one of the hardest parts of the grief process to overcome.  No one outside of the two of you can ever really know or understand what it really feels like because that kind of intimacy was only known between the two of you.  Nor can anyone ever really replace that kind of unique passion experienced between t...