Moments with Mary

THE NOISE WE MAKE Humans make a lot of noise.  Some sounds are background noise created by footsteps, breathing, coughing, groaning, snoring, sneezing…the soundscape list goes on.  The more audible sounds that come out of us are much louder like talking, singing, whistling, crying...  Sometimes the noise that comes out of us can be irritating to others or we grow used to them and adapt.  Regardless, by our very being, we create our very own and unique noise frequency.   For those of us who are grieving, not only do we miss our loved one’s personality, companionship, emotional connection and time shared together, we also miss their “noise.”  It’s like a dramatic symphony gone quiet.  Our surroundings become completely silent and we realize, we can’t stand the silence.  Simon & Garfunkel wrote a powerful song entitled “The Sound of Silence” that describe some sounds of silence as “darkness” and “restless dreams,” which feels close to what t...

BOTTOMLESS GRIEF Grief is one of the most intense emotions we will experience in our lifetimes.  There are varying degrees of grief, because of the varying intensity of our feelings at any given time brought on by outside or inner circumstances.  Some days the intensity of grief will feel lighter and some days, will feel like a darkness we’ve never experienced before.  That darkness feels like being thrown into a bottomless pit of dark despair with no clue how to climb out of it.  It seems like life is overshadowed with grief, so much so, grief has become part of everyday life.  I’m so tired of being tired.  I’m so sad from being so sad.   I’m so broke from feeling so broken.  But it’s especially hard on those days when we feel like we’ve fallen into the darkness that deeply trouble the soul.   When you realize how dark you feel…stop.  Take a deep breath, and focus not on the darkness, but on finding the light.  That light...

ENCOURAGEMENT AS YOU WALK THE GRIEF JOURNEY Walking inside grief oftentimes feels like an unending journey to nowhere; yet, every single step you take every single day can take you to a different place in the grief journey.  Some days the steps feel like you are moving forward, finding solace in memories, recalling moments of grace and laughter and fun.  Other days, it feels like you’re haunted taking hundreds of steps backwards, feeling guilt over lost moments not captured heavily laden with regret because there is no “do-over.”  Some days the steps lead to nowhere and feelings of loss and lost take over. Be assured that every step we take inside the grief journey will take us closer to this place called peace.  It may take a year…two years…three or more.  That’s okay.  Each person will walk through grief at their own pace because of individual feelings and experiences.  Eventually, how we choose to grieve and how hard the journey can become is your d...

THE SILENT HEARTBEAT Wherever you are in your grief journey, the silent heartbeat of your loved one will always beat within your own heart.  Whether you’re grieving the loss of a parent, child, spouse, relative or friend, you can never be separated from that loving connection.  Just like a mother and child are connected prior to birth through an umbilical cord, once cut and separated to breathe on their own, there will still be a deeper connection to that silent breath that nurtured them together in the first place.  We create that same pathway when we care deeply for someone.  We stay connected to them even if they aren’t physically there because they remain emotionally within us through that unbreakable connection called love.  Take a moment to feel the presence of your loved one within you.  Put your hand on your heart, feel its pulse, enter into its rhythm, and silently feel their presence within you.  No one or nothing can ever take that treasure ...