Moments with Mary

Stay in Today.  Starting out another New Year often prompts resolutions to do something different in our lives that will have future outcomes.  For the most part, those resolutions are about making healthier choices, i.e. losing weight, exercise, etc., or the resolutions can be a multitude of things we can do to bring into reality various hopes and dreams we have as we look ahead in our lives.  However, when you’re grieving, it’s a whole lot tougher to look ahead and make decisions about future outcomes.  It’s hard to visualize what lies ahead because we’re just trying to make it through today.  We are at a loss because of our loss.  Right now, this very moment, if you’re grieving, it’s important just to make it through today.   And then after today, you can worry about getting through the day after that…and the day after that.  Your life has been disrupted and getting from today to tomorrow oftentimes takes everything you can muster from wit...

The holidays are upon us and on top of the multiple layers of grief that lie inside us, there is an added layer of melancholy that seeps on top of our grief and takes a deeper hold within our hearts. Remembering those holidays past filled with so many special memories spark sentimental longing for those sacred shared moments with our loved ones.  Why does this holiday feel so different?  Because we deeply miss our loved ones with a profound sense of remembering those feelings of times shared in our life history, family togetherness, and tradition.  We may not remember specific moments, but we do recall those special feelings of being with them during these special times, while also missing the physical contact of being with them.   The love of our loved ones who have gone before us lie so deeply inside our hearts.  Our love we have for them lies deeply there as well.  While the holidays seem to evoke a multitude of memories, take a moment to ponder all...

Perspective.  After losing someone you love, time in relationship to life and death takes on a much wider and deeper and broader perspective.  Our vantage point changes and we start thinking and become more aware of how fragile our bodies are and how short a life span truly is.  Even 100 years doesn’t seem like enough time to accomplish all we want or hope or think we can accomplish.  Every year the pace of the calendar seems to fly by faster and time seems shorter and we look back at our relationships and become even more aware of how important our family and friends really are to us.  Death changes our perspective because we are forced to take into account the life span our loved one had and in most cases, they didn’t get enough time with us, which leads us to think about how much time lies ahead for us.  We come to realize that time is one of the most valuable gifts we have.   Life moves on and never stops and what lies ahead, while unknown, is...

The Empty Chair ...Every time I walk by that favorite chair my loved one often sat in, I continue to feel a range of emotions.  On the one hand, it makes me smile remembering they sat there and felt comfortable and relaxed in their favorite spot.  On the other hand, that chair is empty.  Empty of their presence.  Empty of their touch.  Empty of their sitting there.  But not empty of their memory. The best way to walk by that empty chair is to think about your loved one sitting there, smile, and then take a moment to sit in it.  After all, that was one of their favorite places where they felt “home.”  While they aren’t there physically, your memory of them can be refreshed with how comfortable they were sitting there.  Picture them in their chair smiling, laughing, happy, sitting peacefully next to our Lord.  Wrap yourself up in their moment, their memory and their love. “Those who overcome, I will grant to them to sit down with Me on My ...