Moments with Mary

 Special Occasions Those markable anniversary or birthday or special occasion dates are tough.  They bring to mind the essence of time.  There was a time when you could celebrate with your loved one something special on that date.  There was a time when that date had a different meaning.  Now that date reminds us of what we lost.  That date reminds us what isn’t present in our lives anymore.  That date begs the question…”How can I celebrate anything when you’re not there?”   The truth of the matter is that date will always matter.  Just like that person will always matter.  Time can’t erase the memories that date holds.  As a matter of fact, the passage of time makes that date even more meaningful…even more memorable.  You can’t erase that date.  You have to embrace that date.  And let that time you had with your loved one live peacefully in your mind and in your heart.  After all, if you truly believe in h...

Missing Peaces - Where is my peace?  In a moment in time, this overriding sensation…this all-encompassing feeling of being tranquil is gone.  Inside there is angst, unrest and unabashed grief.  In losing someone I love, I have come to realize that I have to find out who I am all over again.  I know they are still with me, but I am without them.                     Who am I now?    Take all those broken pieces of yourself and slowly and steadily put them back together.  It won’t happen in a day or a month and may take well over a year.  But if you steadily and honestly come to terms with your loss and allow yourself the space you need to grieve, you will discover not a “new” you, but a “renewed” you.  You will put yourself back together.  You will become someone wiser than before.  You will become deeper than before.   You will find inner peace.  You are You. ...

Silence can be deafening and deadening.  Where once the noise of a loved one surrounds us in a blanket of comfort, now surrounding us in uncomfortable quiet.  It’s a profound silence listening to the white noise of nothing.  It’s a silence that not only reverberates in our ears, but throughout our entire being.  This quiet silence resounds not only inside our head, but pumps a cadence, a rhythm deep within the heart.   This silence confirms that love has its own noise.  Love has various ranges and pitches and can reach untold decibels, embracing and surrounding us internally and externally.  Listen.  Listen more.  Listen harder.  You will hear that Love.  You will feel that Love.  You can never silence love. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love,  I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Cor 13:1 For more information visit https://www.chaplainmary.net/ Or check out my bo...

 Sorrow Thickens Why is it sorrow thickens?  We perceive our sorrow will thin out over time and perhaps even stop.  But somewhere out of the “blues,” this immense pain overshadows our entire being – like a dark nimbus cloud that outbursts sorrow all over us, immersing us in a torrent of unstrained painful rain.  What is happening to me?  I thought I was through the worst of this.  It’s like living cloudy on a clear sunny day.   Be assured that level of sorrow is short-lived.  Yes, it will come and go, but it doesn’t have a long life because the degree of intensity changes.  Why?  Because you change.  You change within because of sorrow.  Sorrow is so important to growing us.  It really is a gift that won’t allow you stay in one place because its intensity creates movement that brings change.  This change allows us to see the value of life from an incredibly wider perspective.  We realize from the depth of ou...

During my grief journey, I became so angry about the circumstances, that the anger felt like a solid rock was residing inside of me.  This rock was gigantic and felt like it was going to be there to stay.  I wasn’t used to feeling angry, but I was so outraged by my grief.  Why? No answer.  Why?  Silence.  Why?  Nothing.  It’s so frustrating living with unanswered questions that have no answers.  It’s even more disheartening living in anger.  This is NOT who I am!  I am not an angry person, yet I find myself living inside my anger.  It won’t go away.  It rears its ugly head to anyone who is near me.  One day I decided to face my anger head on.  I saw it.  I embraced it.  I allowed it to be in me.  And then…I decided, with God’s help, to let it go.  Go away anger!  Anger was not me, even though it resided inside of me.  Anger overshadowed me.  So I made the decision to let it go....